Living in a Recovery/Halfway House
Recovery houses, also referred to as sober homes, transitional living, or halfway houses, are group home environments where people suffering from addiction can live and stay sober. They should be safe, stable homes where people in recovery can rebuild their lives. Note that the term “halfway house” usually refers to homes for people coming out of jail or prison, so not always people in recovery from alcohol and drug use. Though there is some overlap, when referring to group homes for people in recovery, recovery house is a more appropriate term.
Not all recovery houses are the same. Many have different rules and regulations. Some are much better than others. In this guide, you will learn about recovery houses, their purpose, their standard rules, and potential issues. I’m going to write this article as if you are someone looking into recovery houses for the first time. If you’re the loved one of a recovering addict, you may still find this information useful.
Here are some photos from my time at several recovery houses run by R3 in Lancaster, PA.
These houses were above-standard for the area (a really low bar). They were overcrowded and noisy (something that’s hard to escape in these places), but kept in excellent condition.




For comparison, here are some pics from another recovery house I stayed at for nearly two years. It’s not pretty, but you can get sober anywhere!
I actually had more fun at this ugly recovery house. The people were more interesting.



Purpose
The main objective for any recovery house should be to provide a stable, supportive, safe location for you to rebuild your life without the presence of alcohol or drugs. As such, drugs and alcohol are prohibited at recovery houses. Using drugs or alcohol while at a recovery house usually results in being kicked out. The consequence of homelessness or going back to rehab serves as a deterrent to relapse.
Most people arrive at recovery houses after being referred to one from an inpatient rehab facility, though this is not necessarily a prerequisite. If someone in early recovery believes they’re at high risk of relapse in their regular home environment, recovery houses may be an option they can consider, rather than relapsing or going to rehab. To gain residence in a recovery house, you usually are required to pass a drug test and have at least a week or more of sustained sobriety. Recovery houses are not rehabs. If you are in active addiction, seek inpatient rehab and detox services before pursuing a recovery house.
Recovery houses are a group living environment. You can expect to have multiple roommates who are also in recovery. With luck, you will find yourself with a good group of supportive people who understand some of your struggles. Maybe you’ll even make a few good friends.
While living at a recovery house, you will be expected to attend recovery meetings (AA, NA, etc.), maintain your physical and mental health, find a job or go back to school, do a share of the household chores, and stay sober. You may be randomly tested for drugs at any point during your stay. Successful stays in recovery houses can be anywhere from a few months to several years, depending on your situation. Some recovery houses, such as those operated by rehab facilities, are only intended for stays of 1-2 months. Should you find yourself in a short-term recovery house, consider finding one you can stay at longer.
Recovery houses are usually affordable with rent paid on a weekly basis (typically anywhere from $125 to $200/wk.) Recovery houses are not medical treatment centers, so your health insurance will not pay for them like they do with inpatient rehab stays.
Rules & Structure
The individual rules will vary from house to house. A senior house member is usually given the position of house manager, in charge of drug testing and enforcing the rules in exchange for reduced rent or other perks. If you’re in a home operated by a rehab facility, they may employ staff members (aids, behavioral health techs), to oversee the residents.
Here is a sample of the rules you will find in most recovery houses:
- No drugs or alcohol, including certain over-the-counter medications and prescription medications.
- Some homes may make exceptions on a case-by-case basis, or permit marijuana where it’s legal.
- Consent to random drug/breath tests
- Curfew – They will expect you to return home by a certain time every night unless you have an overnight or travel pass.
- Being Active – Many homes do not permit you to stay home and lie around all day. They want you to be out attending meetings, looking for work, attending outpatient therapy, or going to school. They might expect you to be up and out of the house during a certain window if you don’t have a job.
- Chores (trash, cleaning, etc.)
- Meeting requirements – Most houses will require you to attend 3-6 recovery meetings a week. Some will require you to get a sponsor. Many require you to log your meetings either with paper signatures or through an app.
- Therapy requirements – Some houses may require you to attend group-based outpatient drug/alcohol rehab sessions.
- Hygiene requirements – Shower and maintain a presentable appearance.
- No fighting/violence, guns or weapons
- No theft or other crimes
- No gambling
- No members of the opposite sex permitted in the house, and no sex with roommates if you’re gay. Most houses do not permit visitors, except family on a scheduled basis.
The Environment & Living Conditions
The environment of your recovery house will differ depending on what you can afford, the location of the recovery house, and the people currently in it. Recovery houses have constant turnover, with people coming and leaving frequently. Some people may stay for a few days and relapse, others may hate it and move out, some may stay for months or years.
The constant turnover can be chaotic, with unique personalities coming and going.
Recovery houses are typically in residential areas. To keep costs low, many are not in the nicest parts of town and you can expect to share your room with others. Most recovery houses have between two and four beds in a single room. Having a room to yourself is not unheard of, but rare in many recovery houses. You may have to pay more for a single room to yourself, if you can find a house that offers them in your area.
Patience is a virtue. You may have to share a bathroom, kitchen, and laundry with several other people. Storage space for food and belongings will probably be limited.
On the plus side, rent is usually affordable even on low incomes, and utilities (electricity, water, internet, heating, cooling, etc.) are included.
House meetings are common at recovery houses. You may be expected to attend one or two group meetings with the rest of your house on a weekly basis. To check in, go over household responsibilities, and bring up any personal or group related issues.
Services/Amenities
Rent usually includes one bed with bedding (bunk beds are common), a small dresser or closet space, access to laundry, a kitchen with limited storage space, and all utilities.
Some recovery houses may provide transportation to meetings and other recovery events.
Some homes will help set you up with social workers, therapists, outpatient programs, and legal council.
The People Problem
If you’re lucky and get along with your roommates, living in a recovery house isn’t that unpleasant of an experience. It certainly beats homelessness or living out of a car. In fact, you may actually enjoy the experience. That said, you will come across some people you disagree with. Here are some common conflicts and potential solutions.
- Drug use: Inevitably, someone will relapse during your stay. Not everyone entering recovery houses plans to stay sober. Keep your head up and try to stay away from the people headed the wrong direction. Do not let someone else’s relapse cause you to relapse. If you see or suspect someone of using, report it to your house manager. Drug use in the home puts everyone’s sobriety at risk.
- Drug romanticization: People may have “war stories” about their drug use. They may glamorize it, especially in early recovery. Avoid talking about all the great times you had doing drugs, and focus on the negative consequences of your drug use. In AA they often tell you to “play the tape through.” Remember where your drug use landed you. Drinking a fifth of vodka a night may have been fun at first, but was it still fun three months in?
- Prison mentality: Not everyone in recovery houses is coming from jail. Not everyone has a criminal history. But some do. Avoid confrontation with hostile individuals. If someone is bothering you, bullying you, or being disrespectful, bring it up with the house authority. Do not escalate the situation or get into a fight. Be direct, but respectful. Most of the bad apples have a way of weeding themselves out. If all else fails, find a different recovery house.
- Mental Health: Co-occurring mental health issues are extremely common in people who use drugs and alcohol. Everyone in your house is going through their own personal battles. Keep this in mind. Not everyone may be in the cheeriest of moods. If someone at your house is behaving erratically and you believe they are a danger to themselves or others, they may need a higher level of care (mental health ward, psychiatrist, etc.), discuss with your house manager.
- Cleanliness and Hygiene – Not everyone knows how to take good care of themselves or their surroundings. Remember, living in a recovery house is a learning experience. Some people may have never cleaned a bathroom before, or have trouble leaving messes in kitchens. Again, be patient. If issues are recurring, bring it up at house meetings or with managers. Try not to attack people with criticism, but be constructive.
- Maturity
- Ideally, it’s good to have a decent mix of ages, perspectives, and lengths of sobriety. A portion of the house members should have multiple months or even several years of sobriety.
- I find houses with mostly young people (25 and under) experience higher turnover and more instances of relapse (sometimes groups of people relapsing together) in the home. It’s possible your recovery house could have 18-year-old kids living with 45-year-old people in the middle of their careers, and 70-year-old retired people. It’s possible you’ll get a 40-year-old with the maturity of a 20-year-old, or vice versa. Every situation is different.
- Rather than getting annoyed at people less mature than you, try to be supportive and encouraging. Be open to learning from others and offer what you can.
- If you’re lacking in the life skills department, ask for help. Most people would rather help you learn things than see you fail. If you need help or a ride, ask for it. Usually someone’s willing to help.
Red Flags
No two houses are the same. Some are good, some are bad. Some owners care about their residents, some just want your rent money. Here are some things to watch out for when selecting, or choosing to remain at a particular recovery house.
- House Condition: The house itself might be old, the furniture might be cheap, the beds might be uncomfortable. This does not always mean it’s a bad house. The people in the house are far more important than the house itself. Even if it’s an objectively ugly environment, focus on how the house is maintained rather than how it’s decorated. Do people mostly seem to clean up after themselves? Are the bathrooms and kitchens in clean working order? If the kitchen is dirty, the bathrooms look like they’ve never been cleaned, and junk is sprawled out everywhere, maybe consider a different house. If the house is “ugly” but appears to be kept in good shape, it may still be a good place.
- Management: How the house is managed has an enormous impact on the living conditions. It may be hard to gauge this up front or over the phone. Ask about how the house is managed and what the rules and expectations are. There should be some type of admissions process, even if it’s short. You should have time to talk to the house manager, learn about the house and its residents. If the admissions process is just “pay us money” then maybe it’s not the right house for you. Management should be timely, professional, and responsible. Management should not be egocentric or unresponsive to requests.
- Residents: If the house is any good, residents will stay there for more than a few weeks at a time. Ask how long the senior residents have been there. Most decent houses will have at least a few people who have been there for a year or more. If the only person who’s been at the house for more than a few months is the manager, it’s probably not the best house.
- Drug Use: If the house regularly gives people second chances or free passes when they relapse or bring drugs into the house, it may not be a safe environment. Any decent recovery house will prohibit people from returning directly after a relapse. People should be required to return to inpatient rehab or maintain a period of sobriety prior to being readmitted. As annoying as drug tests are, someone should randomly test you several times per month. If your house does not test people, or you suspect people are regularly using drugs in the home, it is not a safe environment. People in recovery houses should not be able to get away with using drugs.
- Flop Houses: Regulation of recovery houses is getting better. However, where there is recovery, there is relapse. Some “recovery” houses are not good. If many of the residents in the house are using with no repercussions, or the house is getting kickbacks from rehab facilities, it is a bad environment. If the house seems to be actively encouraging drug use, it is not a recovery house, it is a flop house.
Pros & Cons
Depending on your outlook on life, your pros and cons may differ from the suggested list below. Here are some general pros and cons to living in a recovery house.
Pros
- Safe, supportive environment
- Usually affordable
- Get life back together/on track
- Pursue educational/occupational opportunitues
- Save money, not wasting it all on drugs/alcohol
- Make friends and build a support network
- Practice personal respect and responsibility
- A stepping stone to better things
- Learn life skills, take better care of your health
Cons
- May be uncomfortable
- Crowded
- Annoying/chaotic at times
- Loud/noisy
- Roommates may annoy you
Admissions Questions
Here are some good questions to ask when considering a new recovery house.
- What are the rules and expectations?
- How many meetings are you required to attend?
- What is the curfew?
- How do travel/overnight passes work?
- Living Conditions
- What facilities are available?
- Where is the house located?
- How many bathrooms (ideally 2 or more per 4 residents)?
- How big is the house? What storage space do I have?
- What’s included in the kitchen and how much fridge and freezer space can I use?
- Is the house in walking distance to meetings, services, and stores?
- What should and shouldn’t I bring to the house?
- Roommates
- How many people live in the house total?
- How many people will share your bedroom?
- How long have the people in the house been there?
- What’s the house manager like?
- Is the house relatively calm, or is there a lot of drama?